A very merry Christmas one half
by Ryu
Summary: From the viewpoints of the characters, they try to find the perfect gift for the ones they love. COMPLETE!!
1. Ranma and Ryoga Viewpoints

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi.  
  
Hello, and Merry Xmas everyone! Before I start the fic, let me say a few things. First, this is a Christmas based fic, and is somewhat humorous, so I hope you enjoy it, even if it gets outdated. Second, the chapters will be in POV's, meaning that persons viewpoints, which will change in between chapters. I'll be sure to let you know of the changes. Also, this is my first fic in a first person perspective, so please go easy on me. With that said, on with the fic!  
  
  
  
A very merry Christmas ½  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Ranma and Ryoga's viewpoints  
  
[December 23]  
  
[Ranma's viewpoint]  
  
  
  
Why do we have to do this every year? It's always the same thing. Akane decorates the house in a horrible fashion, and then has the nerve to try to cook for me! How could someone cook so badly? I can remember it quite clearly, since it was just an hour ago.  
  
[Flashback: The Tendo kitchen]  
  
Akane had just finished baking these cookies. I tried to hide when she saw me, but my stupid old man gave me away, just so he could save himself! All I could do at the moment was dread as she started to speak.  
  
"Oh, there you are, Ranma. I baked some cookies for you. I hope you like them." She'd say so sweetly.  
  
I know in my heart that she tried so hard, but I don't think my stomach could take it. Should I risk it? Or should I run? I thought about this for a moment, until I noticed that I was taking too long to answer. I looked at Akane, and saw a look of anger in her eyes.  
  
"Well?" she asked me irritably. "Aren't you going to try some?"  
  
"Um, well, that is to say." I stammered. I still didn't know what to do, so I panicked. "It'll probably make me sick anyways." This was a big mistake, as I was treated to a punch in the face. "Ow! What did you do that for?!" What did she do that for?! Why did I even ask that?! Of course I know why she did that!  
  
"You didn't even try some first!" she said with a high anger in her tone. "I worked so hard on them too!"  
  
I could see the hurt in her eyes. She really "did" work hard to make them. "Look, Akane." I finally said. "I'll try some, just don't hit me anymore."  
  
Her eyes were now as bright as bulbs. "Really? You'll try them?" she asked cheerfully.  
  
"Yeah, whatever." I said.  
  
"I hope you like them." She said, once again with a sweet tone. "I tried something new, so I hope you don't mind."  
  
Tried something new?! Now I "know" I'm gonna be sick! Nevertheless, I picked one up, threw it in my mouth, and tasted it. There was something strange about the taste. It was pretty bitter for a cookie, so I asked. "Akane? What did you put in this? It's kind of bitter."  
  
"Do you like it?" she asked. "They're ginger snaps, so I had put give them just the right ingredients, although I think I put too much salt and paprika in them. I also accidentally spilled some soy sauce in them."  
  
Why did she have to say that when I've just put a third cookie in my mouth? The thought of those ingredients in pastries was enough to make me run to the garbage bin, and spit out the monstrosities. "Soy sauce?! Salt?! What were you thinking?!"  
  
"You don't have to yell, Ranma!" she shouted back at me. "I said it was a mistake! You don't have to be so harsh about it!"  
  
"Harsh is making me try it in the first place!" I retorted, although I would now be regretting it, as she held me by the collar of my shirt, and threw me into the pond. I emerged, in my female form of course.  
  
"You jerk!" she shouted.  
  
"Uncute tomboy!" I shouted back.  
  
"Dummy!"  
  
"Flat chested!"  
  
I think I drew the line on that last remark, as I could see the anger building up within her. Knowing what would happen next, I hopped on the roof and ran as fast as I could.  
  
  
  
[End of flashback: Nerima shopping center]  
  
  
  
Why does she have to take things so personal? Sure, I could use softer words when I criticize her, but for some reason, I feel strange being around her. I like it, and yet, I also despise it. Everyone else says it's because I love her, but who could love such an uncute tomboy?! Well....she "is" kind of cute when she's not yelling at me....maybe I should apologize later, but just because it's the right thing to do! It's not like I like her or anything!........Well, a little....what's wrong with me?!  
  
Fortunately, and unfortunately at the same time, who else but Ryoga should show up. I guess he's finally made his way back to Nerima. He approached me with a glint of anger in his eyes....that, and he had his fist up. I just rolled my eyes.  
  
"Hey, P-chan." I said.  
  
"Don't call me P-chan!" he shouted.  
  
"Then how about Charlotte?"  
  
"You have insulted me for the last time, Saotome!" he shouted as he tried to punch me. I swiftly dodged, and then elbowed him into the concrete. This is getting really old. Even in my female form, he was still no match for me.  
  
"Look, Ryoga." I said. "I'd love to humiliate you some more, but I've got to do some Christmas shopping."  
  
"For Akane no doubt." Ryoga said in slight anger.  
  
"Who said it was for her?" I asked. "Not that it's any of your business, but why would I buy a gift for her? She's uncute, bad tempered, flat as a board.."  
  
"I will not tolerate you talking that way about Akane!" he said as he quickly rose from the floor. "I'm going to get Akane a gift that'll make her shun whatever it is that you have planned!"  
  
"Um, P-chan? You don't have any money."  
  
"I'll find a way, and don't call me P-chan!"  
  
"Whatever, P-chan. See you later. That is, unless you get lost again."  
  
The next event was predictable. Saying some threats that I don't care to remember, he tried to lunge at me once again. I swiftly dodged again, but this time, I kicked him into a nearby fountain. I waved at the emerging piglet.  
  
"Bye, P-chan!" I said while laughing. All he could do was make those pig sounds at me. I laughed a bit more, and then left towards the bathroom to change back into a guy.  
  
However, when I got there, just before I could open the door, another dreadful figure exited. It was Kuno, and I was still in female form!  
  
"Pig-tailed one." He said. "Oh what fates that smiles upon me!" Then the jerk embraced me! "It could only be by destiny that we should meet in such a place."  
  
I quickly jumped out of his arms, and gave him a quick roundhouse in the face. "Get away from me, Kuno!" Then I quickly stormed off into the bathroom, but not before his little idiot sidekick, Sasuke, stood in my way.  
  
"Don't worry, master Kuno!" he said to the now rising moron. "I, Sasuke, your humble manservant, will make sure she stays with you!" Then he turned towards me. "You, my lady friend, are not going anywhere! The only way through here is through me!"  
  
What an idiot! He's trying to stop me from going into the bathroom? "Well, if you insist." I said as quickly stepped on him, leaving a footprint. I decided to finish this quickly, since I could see Kuno looking back in my direction.  
  
"Your kick is swift and heavenly." He said as he drew his bokken. "But my bokken is swifter! I challenge you! When I win, I shall date with you!"  
  
Then he charged at me. I quickly picked up Sasuke, and threw him at Kuno's legs, which caused him to stumble, and fall. I closed the door, poured some hot water on myself, and then opened the door. The shocked and angered expression on Kuno's face was priceless!  
  
"You! Ranma Saotome! Your vile sorcery ends here and now! I shall defeat you, and then both Akane and the pig-tailed girl will be free from your grasp! Prepare to battle!"  
  
Being very annoyed at the moment, I fired a ki blast to quickly shut him up. I think it must've caught him off guard, since it knocked him out in one shot. I calmly left while Sasuke was trying miserably to carry him back to his home.  
  
After a while, I was basically window shopping. You know, looking in a few stores here, a few shops there, and whatnot. It's a good thing I saved some money this year. Nothing's worse than having to owe Nabiki again.  
  
......Me and my big mouth! No sooner had I said that, both Ukyo and Shampoo were arguing amongst each other, and Ryoga was with them! Fortunately, they didn't see me, so I quickly and quietly snuck off into a clothing store. I went in the back of the store, and then calmed down. I looked around the store seconds later. The things here weren't so bad. I think getting a Christmas present for Akane will be easier than I thought.....Forget I said that! I just saw Kodachi in here! "If she sees me, I'm done for!" I muttered to myself. I quietly snuck into the store bathroom, hoping that she wouldn't see me. Fortunately, I don't think she did. I think I'll just hide here until she goes away.  
  
  
  
[Ryoga's viewpoint]  
  
  
  
I'll make Ranma pay for this! Knocking me into a fountain like that! Making fun of me! Talking that way about Akane! He's not getting away with this! All I need to do now is get back into human form.  
  
It took a while, but I finally made it to the bathroom, and was able to change back. Once I got dressed, I had one thing on my mind....Buy Akane the best Christmas gift ever!! The only problem was getting the money for it. How could I get money for a gift on such short notice?  
  
While I was thinking about this, Ukyo was unknowingly heading towards me. Maybe I could ask her for some money. I'll do anything in return. I was about to say something, but I sensed the energy of another fighter. I turned around, and saw Shampoo unknowingly heading towards me in the opposite direction. They must both be really preoccupied or something.  
  
Then, as if by instinct, the two saw each other. They quickly ran up to me. However, their eyes were fixated on each other.  
  
"Oh, hello, Shampoo." Ukyo said very irritably.  
  
"Same to you, Spatula girl." Shampoo said, also in the same tone. I figured it was just best to listen in, and wait for them to notice me.  
  
"So what brings you here anyways? Looking for some strange herb to poison Ranma?"  
  
"For you information, spatula girl, Shampoo was shopping for presents." Then she gave an evil grin to Ukyo. "Mostly for Airen."  
  
Ukyo also gave a similar grin in return. I tell you, if grins could kill, I would be dead.  
  
"It just so happens that 'I' am going to buy Ranma honey a gift that he'll surely love. In fact, he probably has one all wrapped up just for me."  
  
"Ha! Dream on! Ranma buy gift for Shampoo!"  
  
"And what gift would that be?" she said sarcastically. "A love potion? A hormone enhancer? A forced marriage?"  
  
"No...that gift from great-grandmother. Shampoo buy something that Ranma won't run from." Then she smirked at Ukyo. "What you getting him? More Okonomiyaki? A spatula?"  
  
The two growled at each other, and were now saying some words that I dare not say. I think it's best that I now intervene. I stood up, and spoke.  
  
"Um, hello?" I said.  
  
They both turned towards me, their anger subsiding.  
  
"Ryoga? What brings you here sugar?"  
  
"How long you there?"  
  
"Not too long." I answered. "I'm here to buy a present for Akane, but I'm having some trouble getting some money."  
  
"Is that all sugar? I could give you some. All you have to do is help me get a present for Ranma honey."  
  
I nearly fumed at that name! However, I remained calm and collected. "Ranma! I'll hunt him down to the ends of the Earth! How dare he speak that way of Akane!" Okay...so maybe that wasn't so calm. "Um, I'm sorry. He just made a fool of me earlier."  
  
"Then it good thing you bump into Shampoo." She said cheerfully. "Shampoo help you win heart of violent girl."  
  
"No, you're not!" Ukyo exclaimed while grabbing my arm. "He's 'my' friend, so 'I'm' going to help him! Besides, I don't want you drugging Ranma or anything like that!"  
  
"Shampoo do no such thing!" she said while grabbing my other arm. "At least Shampoo don't try to blow things up!"  
  
"Why you...."  
  
This was getting nowhere. I couldn't help but wonder. Did I look like that whenever I fought Ranma? I hope not. Before this fight escalated, I quickly spoke up.  
  
"Before you go at each others throats, why don't you just get Ranma the best gift you can? That way, you don't have to fight, and maybe he'll even leave Akane for one of you." It was wishful thinking, but when it comes to love, anything is possible!  
  
For several seconds, there was a large pause. Finally, Ukyo spoke up.  
  
"That's a great idea! You and I can each get a gift for the one we love. Come on! Let's go!"  
  
So, without another warning, I was dragged to the nearest store, leaving Shampoo behind, who seemed to be running off in the opposite direction. I don't know what it is she might be planning, but as long as I get Akane, I don't care what it is!............Although, if anyone were to get Ranma, I prefer it to be Ukyo. She's so kind and caring. Ranma is such a fool! Can't he see how much she cares for him?! She cares for him just as much as I care for Akane! Don't worry, Akane! We'll be together one day!  
  
I then noticed the strange glances Ukyo was giving me.  
  
"Are you alright sugar?" she asked. "You seem to be in deep thought."  
  
"Oh, it's nothing." I said. "So, let's go find something for Akane....and Ranma." I said the last part quietly and a bit irritably.  
  
It took a while, but we finally found the perfect gifts for the ones we cared about. I don't know why, but she also gave me a gift, wrapped of course. I smiled. "Thank you. I not sure how I'll be able to give you a gift in return."  
  
"Don't worry about it hon." She answered cheerfully. "Your appreciation is gift enough."  
  
I thanked her again, and we both went our separate ways. She's such a nice girl. I don't know what's wrong with Ranma. He should be beaten many times for his stupidity! Now, to find the Tendo Dojo. I just hope I can find it before Christmas morning.  
  
I exited the shopping center, and looked around. "Hmm, where am I now?"  
  
  
  
End of chapter 1  
  
  
  
Well, I hope you liked it. Please tell me what you thought about it. I'll try to have chapter 2 posted by tomorrow. My email address is rubynall@hotmail.com  
  
Until chapter 2, have fun.^_^ 


	2. Ukyo, Shampoo, and Mousse viewpoints

Disclaimer: Check for the disclaimer in chapter 1  
  
Well, here's chapter 2, as promised. There will be new viewpoints this time around. So, enjoy!^_^  
  
  
  
A very merry Christmas ½  
  
Chapter 2  
  
[Ukyo, Shampoo, and Mousse's viewpoints]  
  
[December 24]  
  
[Ukyo's viewpoint]  
  
  
  
I looked around at the empty shop. Doesn't anyone eat okonomiyaki at Christmas? Business has been extremely slow. I sat down and began to think about how I could give my gift to Ranma honey before that Amazon slut had the chance. Ah, Ranma hon....Your eyes. Your muscular physique. Your innocent smile. Your....bandana?!  
  
What the hell was that for?! What was Ryoga doing in my fantasies? Sure, he's also kind, maybe even handsome....but Ranma is Ranma! We've known each other for years. He "has" to be the one for me!.........So why would I start thinking about Ryoga all of a sudden? Why am I even thinking about this?  
  
Fortunately, my thoughts were cut short by a customer entering the shop. Unfortunately, that customer happened to be Ryoga.  
  
He looked around. "Where am I now?" he asked himself out loud. "This can't be the Tendo Dojo. Arrggghh!!! I got lost again!!"  
  
I sighed. His sense of direction is horrible! Cute, but horrible. "Listen sug." I said to him, "You're quite far away from the dojo."  
  
"Ukyo?" Then he quickly stood upright. "I'm sorry for the intrusion. Please forgive my rudeness."  
  
"No problem. You can stay here until Christmas Eve. After that, I can take you the dojo."  
  
"Really? You don't mind?"  
  
"Not at all. I was going to go there myself anyways. Besides, you know what they say. It's always fun in pairs."  
  
I laughed somewhat nervously. What was I saying?! I hope that didn't come out the wrong way. I wouldn't want Ryoga thinking that I have feelings for him, which I don't.  
  
But this is Ryoga we're talking about, so I highly doubt that thought even crossed his mind. That's good for me, anyways.  
  
"Thank you." He finally said. "I really appreciate it."  
  
"No problem sugar." I answered. "What are friends for? By the way, are you hungry?"  
  
I noticed Ryoga's eyes light up when I said this. "You bet! I haven't eaten since yesterday, before I encountered Ranma!"  
  
"Yesterday?" I asked quizzically. "Why didn't you eat? I gave you my change yesterday."  
  
"Yeah, I know, but I wanted to return the kindness you showed me at the shopping center, so I used that money, along with money that I acquired on the way here, to buy you a gift."  
  
This took me by surprise. "B-but I said not to worry about it."  
  
"Unlike Ranma, I always pay back my debts. Besides, I wanted to." Then he reached in his pocket, and pulled out a small box. "I bought it from some short woman in a trench coat."  
  
I was a bit worried by this. What if it was stolen? What if he got cheated? I would've said something, but the happy look on his face made me do otherwise. He looks so calm, not like the depressed person he usually is. Finally, I spoke.  
  
"Why thank you sugar. That was sweet of you."  
  
"Your welcome. Anything for a friend." He said as he handed me the gift.  
  
"Well, you still hungry or what?" I asked. "I'll make the okonomiyaki. Have a seat."  
  
Sometime later, the food was finished. When we were finished eating, he fell asleep on the table. He can so silly sometimes. I wish he'll get over his shyness one day. He deserves to be with the one he loves. Akane had better show him the same kindness he's always shown her!  
  
Well, might as well make some use of all this free time. I think I'll go see what that Amazon woman is up to. Ryoga couldn't possibly get lost in this shop, could he? Anyways, I better get going.  
  
[Later: Cat Café]  
  
  
  
Upon looking across the window behind a dumpster, I watched Shampoo and Cologne discuss something. I couldn't understand what they were saying though.  
  
"Why did they have to speak in Mandarin?!" I muttered to myself.  
  
"Because they don't want anybody eavesdropping." Said a voice right next to me.  
  
I nearly jumped at this. I quickly turned around to see who it was. Surprisingly, it was Mousse.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked.  
  
"Same thing as you." He answered. "Spying on the old ghoul."  
  
"Well, what are they doing?"  
  
"Don't you know?........Oh, sorry. They're gloating about the perfect gift that Shampoo got for Ranma." Then all of a sudden, Mousse broke into a fury. Fortunately, I was able to quiet him down before he made any noise.  
  
"You want to get us caught?!" I whispered. "Simmer down!"  
  
"Sorry about that." He answered apologetically. "It's just that I get furious whenever I have to hear about how much Shampoo likes Ranma. It just isn't fair! Ranma doesn't even like her!"  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that." I said, trying to sound sympathetic. "What else are they saying?"  
  
I waited a while for Mousse to respond. After some time, Shampoo and Cologne left. Then Mousse turned to me.  
  
"I knew it! The old ghouls up to no good!"  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
Mousse then pointed to a box that was placed under a miniature Christmas tree. "You see that box?"  
  
"Yeah. What about it?"  
  
"The old ghoul has a trap for Ranma. The minute he opens that box, he's going to be sprayed with a powdery substance. Then, the first female he sets eyes on, he'll fall madly in love with! Finally, Shampoo will burst in, and then run in front of Ranma, and you the rest."  
  
I was now furious! That tramp! She had to resort to her great grandmothers potions in order to get my Ranma honey! "Then we have to stop it!"  
  
"My thoughts exactly." He then adjusted his glasses. "Your timing is quite impeccable. You see, my vision is not very good." Then he pulled out two identical boxes. "You think you could switch the boxes for me?"  
  
I quickly grabbed them. "Consider it done!"  
  
I quickly snuck in, switched the boxes, and rushed back before anyone knew I was there.  
  
"That was easy." I said.  
  
"It usually is." Mousse said. "It's my vision that makes it difficult. By the way, let me see those boxes."  
  
I handed them to him. I was a bit disappointed though. I kind of wanted that potion for myself. However, my conscience told me that it would be wrong anyways. Mousse, on the other hand, was smiling quite wickedly as he put the potion box in his sleeve. Then he looked at me. "Care to see what Shampoo would've got Ranma?"  
  
"Sure." I said. "But let's get back to my shop first."  
  
  
  
[Later: Ukyo's place]  
  
  
  
When we got back to my place, we sat down on some chairs. I looked towards Ryoga. Sure enough, he was still asleep. Mousse looked towards his direction, and became furious.  
  
"R-Ranma?! What is he doing here?! I'll thrash him here and now!"  
  
Before he could, though, I quickly pounded him with my giant spatula. "Jackass!" I exclaimed. "Put on your glasses! That isn't Ranma!"  
  
Recovering from the strike, he put on his glasses, and looked again. "Hm. Sorry about that." He said. "So, what's he doing here anyways?"  
  
So I told him all about what happened. He seemed quite interested in my story. After I was done, he looked at my miniature Christmas tree.  
  
"Kind of bare." He said. "Except for that one over there. Did Ranma give it to you?"  
  
"No." I said while sighing. "That one is from Ryoga. In fact, other than my dad, he was the only one who got me a gift."  
  
"I would expect something like that out of Ranma." He said. I glared at him, but he continued talking. "What do you see in him anyways?"  
  
"I should ask you the same thing about Shampoo."  
  
"It's a very complicated story."  
  
"I've got time."  
  
"Then you better fix us something to eat. This is going to take a while."  
  
So I nodded, and then headed to the kitchen to fix up some Okonomiyaki. When it was all finished, I served some to Mousse, myself, and a now waking Ryoga. He seemed a bit surprised that Mousse was here, but didn't pay it any mind.  
  
So for the remainder of the day, we listened to Mousses story. When he was finished, he bowed to us, said something about having business to take care of, and left.  
  
  
  
[Shampoo's viewpoint]  
  
  
  
[Authors note: Since Shampoo's thoughts would most likely be in Mandarin, her dialect will be normal, as opposed to how she normally talks in the show.]  
  
  
  
I'm so happy that I got a wonderful gift for Ranma! However, he'll still need to marry me, so I talked to my great grandmother. She told me about this potion that would do just the trick. While we were talking, I could've sworn that we were being watched. But, we were speaking in our native language, so I doubt they could understand. That is, unless it was Mousse, which wouldn't matter. What could he do anyway?"  
  
Great grandmother seemed very confident in herself. She guaranteed that this plan would work. Who needs a present from Ranma if I could have him to myself? Sure, I received presents from Mousse, but it didn't matter. Mousse is a nice guy and all, but rules are rules. He should understand that by now. Besides, he's kind of a dork, not like Ranma. Anyways, all I have to do tomorrow morning is show up at his doorstep, wait for him to open great grandmother's gift, and be in front of him when the effects occur.  
  
Well, I better get back to cooking. I need to go to bed early in order to get to the Tendo Dojo before anyone wakes up, especially that stupid spatula girl. I know her name is Ukyo, but I do not respect her, so I call her that.  
  
"Hey! Can I get some service here?! I'm hungry!" said a familiar voice.  
  
I looked at who it was. Oh no! It's Happosai! I better let great grandmother serve him.  
  
"Great grandmother!" I shouted from the kitchen. "Old man pervert wants food!"  
  
"Oh no, not him again." She said in an annoyed tone. I don't blame her. Well, back to work.  
  
  
  
[Mousse's viewpoint]  
  
  
  
It seems like everyday I think about Shampoo. Today is no different. The only difference today is that I can do something about it! After leaving Ukyo's restaurant, I decided to head to the Tendo dojo. Fortunately for me, they were too busy with their Christmas preparations to see me sneak in there, place some presents that were marked; "To Ukyo, from Ranma," "To Shampoo, from Ranma," "To Kodachi, from Ranma," and "To Akane, from Ranma."  
  
Each of their presents, looks extravagant, but each one of them contains a large lump of coal. They'll be pretty furious with him! I'll enjoy hearing about that! The only present that isn't a lump of coal is Akanes. In it is a diamond necklace. You see, the closer those two get together, the farther Ranma will be away from Shampoo. As for Shampoo, I have a perfect gift to give to her just as soon as she leaves the Tendo dojo.  
  
If you're wondering what it is that Ranma got for Akane, I'll tell you. The moron actually got her a negligee. Like she'll really want that! Hahahahaha! I just "had" to switch their gifts, no matter how tempting it was to leave it. Besides, Shampoo would like this more. At least, she "will" like it as soon as my plan sets into place!  
  
Oh. There's something I forgot to mention while I was at Ukyo's. When she was preparing the Okonomiyaki, I slipped her a small gift, courtesy of me. It's a tracking device, so she can set it on anyone she wants. I also slipped another gift addressed; "To Ukyo, from Ryoga." I figure, the further people out of my way, the better. This is insurance in case my plan to get Shampoo to fall in love with me fails. You'll find out what the gift is soon enough, as well as Ryoga's "real" gift.  
  
"Mousse! Get back to work!" Shampoo shouted to me. "Old pervert is eating like there no tomorrow!"  
  
"Y-yes Shampoo! Right away Shampoo!" Well, I better get going. I'll need all the rest I can get for tomorrow. Oh Shampoo! At last you'll finally be mine!  
  
"Mousse! Get to work now!"  
  
"Yes Shampoo, my love!"  
  
  
  
End of chapter 2  
  
  
  
Well, I hope you like it. Once again, my email address is rubynall@hotmail.com Remember; I can only make this better with your feedback. 


	3. Kuno and Kodachi viewpoints

Disclaimer: Check for it in chapter 1.  
  
I'm glad you all liked this story.^_^ These next POV's will be quite unusual. You'll see what I mean. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
A very merry Christmas ½  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Kuno and Kodachi viewpoints  
  
[December 24: Morning]  
  
[Kuno's viewpoint]  
  
  
  
Oh what yonder light thy window breaks.....or something like that. I can never fully think of a good poem while I'm training. I must get stronger! That vile sorcerer Saotome must pay! I was so close to winning the heart of the lovely pig-tailed one! Just as my prey was nearing, Ranma shows up with his black arts, and makes the pig-tailed one vanish out of my sight! He'll pay for that!  
  
"Don't worry pig-tailed goddess! I, Tatewaki Kuno, will save you from that fiend!" But then, I also thought of Akane. "Akane Tendo. I have not forgotten about your radiance. I shall save you from his clutches as well!"  
  
Akane Tendo! Pig-tailed one! Which one is to be the one for me? I would choose both of them if I could, but I would most likely be forced to cruelly choose between one of them. Love one, and disappoint the other. "Oh why have the fates given me such cruelty?! To be loved by two women at once! Not being able to express my love for both of them! Why fates, why?!"  
  
My serious thought patterns were cut short by a knock on my door. "Who is it?" I asked.  
  
"It is I, Sasuke, your humble manservant!"  
  
"You may enter."  
  
However, he entered through the floor. I told him not to do that again! "You idiot! I told you many times to use the door!"  
  
"Sorry master."  
  
"So, what is it that you came here for?"  
  
"I have some news regarding mistress Kodachi. I felt that you should know about it."  
  
"My twisted sister? What of her?" I knew that she was up to no good, and I must find out about it.  
  
"Well, master. This morning when I was delivering her request of roses, she told me to help her with some potions that she was making. Unfortunately for me, her definition of helping meant testing them."  
  
"Fool!" I said. "Get to the point! I don't have all day!" Doesn't he realize that I only wish to know the facts, and not this other useless information?  
  
"Sorry master. Please forgive me. Anyways, she created this paralyzing drug that will freeze Ranma in his place. She also went through the trouble of putting it in lipstick form, so that she could-"  
  
Paralyze Ranma? I didn't care for what else he was saying, but this is quite strange. I know I can make some use of this. But how? The answer sits right in front of me, but I do not know of where it is hiding. All I need is a sign.  
  
"Um, master? Did you hear my suggestion? I said that we could get there before her, so you could steal a kiss from Akane. Of course, we'll wait until after mistress Kodachi paralyzes Ranma. What do you think of that?....................Master Kuno?"  
  
......................Then, as if it were from the heavens themselves, a thought of inspiration struck my mind!  
  
"Sasuke! I have a wondrous plan! We'll get there before my twisted sister does, and will free Akane with a kiss! Then, when Ranma is busy, we'll free the pig-tailed goddess from him as well. Maybe I can even kiss her in the process."  
  
"That's a great plan, master Kuno. I just only wish I thought of it first."  
  
"It is quite alright, Sasuke." Not everyone can be as gifted as me. "Come, Sasuke! Let us depart to the Tendo dojo!"  
  
"Yes, master Kuno!"  
  
And like the grace of the wind, we rushed to the Tendo dojo!  
  
  
  
[Tendo dojo: Later]  
  
  
  
When we arrived, I requested an arrow with mistletoe hanging from it. With great skill, I shot the arrow above the doorstep. However, nobody heard it, so I had Sasuke knock on the door. After about a minute, someone answered the door. It was Ranma's pet Panda. It is just like that cowardly fiend to have his muscle answer the door! Surely he fears me!  
  
Much to my demise, he was standing under the mistletoe. The rules of the mysterious plant cannot be broken, lest many bad occurrences appear. I did the brave and noble thing.  
  
"Sasuke! Honor the rules of the mistletoe!" I said while pointing to it. He looked up at it, then down at the panda, and repeated the process three times. Finally, he answered.  
  
"Master? I don't think that I should. He's holding up a pretty threatening sign."  
  
I looked at the sign the panda was holding. It said; "Try it and die!" I sighed, and then responded.  
  
"Do it, or feel the wrath of Tatewaki Kuno!"  
  
"Y-yes master." He said quite obediently. He kissed the panda, although I was only expecting just a peck on the cheek. This angered the panda, as my humble servant was cast into a nearby waste disposal unit with blinding speed. At that moment, who but the wily Nabiki Tendo should be the next to exit through the door.  
  
"What's going on?" she asked, and then looked at me. "Oh. Hey, Kuno. What's up?"  
  
Oh what fates that fall before me. Now it is "she" that is under the mistletoe. Wanting to end this quick, I approached her, and gave her a gentle kiss. I think she was taken aback by this, as I was slapped across the face. But strangely, she smiled afterwards.  
  
"That's going to cost you 1,000 yen." She said.  
  
"What?! For just a kiss?! It should be 'you' that should be paying 'me!'"  
  
"Don't kid yourself, Kuno baby. Just fork over the cash."  
  
I paid the shrew, and then she grinned, as if she had something I wanted. "What is it?" I asked.  
  
"Are you here for Akane, or your pig-tailed goddess?"  
  
"Both, if possible." I answered. "What is it to you?"  
  
"Nothing." She said calmly, yet with a dark grin. "Only that I can produce them for you."  
  
"Explain." I said.  
  
"That'll cost you another thousand yen."  
  
"It had better be worth the trouble." I said as I handed her another thousand yen.  
  
"Oh, it is." She said as she put the money down her shirt. Does she have no morals?!  
  
"If you want them both, just follow me to our pond, and wait for the right opportunity." She told me.  
  
I was ecstatic! I was going to encounter both loves of my life! I looked at the panda, who just shrugged his shoulders, and then went back inside. I was about to enter as well, but Nabiki stopped in front of me.  
  
"That'll cost you 10,000 yen." She said sweetly.  
  
I would normally be angered by such highway robbery, but to bask in the warmness of both my loves, any price is worth it! I quickly paid her the money, and then ran until I reached the backyard.  
  
Upon reaching it, there was Akane Tendo, yelling at that cursed Ranma!  
  
"Akane Tendo!" I exclaimed. "I have come for you!"  
  
Both of them quickly turned towards me.  
  
"What do you want?" asked Ranma.  
  
"I demand that you free your grip on these lovely ladies, Saotome, lest you feel my wrath!"  
  
Then he rolled his eyes at me! What nerve! Does he not remember the great and powerful opponent he is dealing with?! I approached Akane. "Don't worry, dear Akane Tendo. I shall free you from this vile sorcerer. Then you shall have the honor of dating me."  
  
"Beat it, Kuno!" she exclaimed with such vigor. "I already told you that I'm not interested in you!"  
  
"That is only because of the evil hold Ranma has on you. Fear not, though, he will swiftly dealt with. For the wrath of the heavens are slow, but sure. Ranma will get what is coming to him soon enough."  
  
"Is that a challenge?" Ranma asked. "Because if it is, you're wasting your time. Like I told Ryoga, I don't bully the weak."  
  
Weak?! He has the nerve to call me that?! "You foolish degenerate! Do not mock the great Tatewaki Kuno! Now release your grip on the stunningly beautiful Akane Tendo!"  
  
For some strange reason, he raised an eyebrow at me. "Stunningly beautiful?" he asked. "Are you sure we're talking about Akane?"  
  
Then, as if the gods themselves were punishing him, Akane was able to break of his control long enough to yell and him, and then punch him right in the face! I chose this opportunity to strike Ranma.  
  
I was about to draw my bokken, when a familiar, yet strange laughter was heard from the sky. As predicted, it was Kodachi, my twisted sister. She was directly behind Ranma.  
  
"Ranma darling?!" She said in her normal shrill tone. "It's your one true love, Kodachi Kuno."  
  
With a somewhat nervous look on his face, Ranma turned towards her, only to be unexpectedly kissed on the lips. Within a few seconds, she stopped. Akane looked somewhat angry. Perhaps it was because my sister was infatuated with her tormentor. I looked back at Ranma, who tried to move away, but couldn't thanks to the paralyzing potion.  
  
I looked back at Akane, whose anger seemed to be rising. I watched as she spoke.  
  
"So, you really seemed to enjoy that!" she exclaimed.  
  
"No, I didn't!" he answered.  
  
"Then why aren't you trying to escape her embrace?!"  
  
"I would if I could!"  
  
"You are such a liar!"  
  
"No I'm not! Kodachi must've froze me or something!"  
  
"Oh Ranma darling, you're such a kidder." Kodachi said, mainly for the purpose of adding to her ruse. She then embraced him tighter. "Now, Ranma. Make, me, your own."  
  
Akane was about to punch him, but I grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Do not let it bother you." I said. "Now you are as free as a bird. You can now express your love to me the way you wanted to, without Saotome's black magic holding you back."  
  
As if to make things better, Sasuke ran in, holding two fishing poles with mistletoe on them. He held on above Ranma, and the other above Akane.  
  
"Master Kuno. Mistress Kodachi. You may now honor the rules of the mistletoe."  
  
My twisted sister wasted no time in kissing that vile fiend. I, on the other hand, was more of a gentleman. I took her into my arms, and gently dipped her.  
  
"Is it by fate that we were destined to kiss? I shall answer fate the only way it will let me."  
  
Just when I was so close to touching her sweet lips, that fiend broke free of that potion, and sucker punched me in the face!  
  
"Don't you dare kiss Akane!" he shouted! "Whatever it was Kodachi did to me, somehow wore off when I saw that! Now, prepare to battle!"  
  
I drew my bokken. "You took the words right out of my mouth. I shall defeat you!" I swung and sliced with rigorous vigor. He was dodging, but I knew I could wear him out. However, I ended up falling in the pond. Under there, I thought of how I could miss that last shot? It was most likely the dark arts that he possessed! It was the only logical explanation!  
  
I emerged from the pond, only to find Ranma, Akane, and my sister squabbling amongst each other. I didn't know what was going on, but before I knew it, Akane had struck Ranma into the pond. What emerged was even more surprising. It was the pig-tailed one! That coward switched places with her, just so she could take the fall!  
  
"Pig-tailed one!" I exclaimed with joy as I held her in embrace. "Once again, I shall warm you with my kiss."  
  
"For the last time," she said as she head butted me away from her, "it doesn't count if you use tape!"  
  
Then, with burning fists of fury, I was pummeled with what seemed like hundreds of punching attacks at once! The last one sent me flying back to my home.  
  
  
  
[Later: Evening]  
  
  
  
I cannot believe it! Both Akane Tendo "and" the pig-tailed one rejected me, even with Ranma subdued by my twisted sister! His sorcery is far more powerful than I imagined! Nevertheless, on Christmas morning, I will go back over there, and give Akane and the pig-tailed goddess the best gift of all. The gift, of my love to them.  
  
  
  
[Kodachi's viewpoint: Morning of December 24]  
  
  
  
Oh Ramna darling! I know that you love me so! You're just having trouble admitting it because of those wicked-wicked girls! But not to worry. I will make it easier for you, my love. With this potion, I will be able to paralyze you, so you won't "have" to hide your feelings from me. I was even kind enough to put it in lipstick form. Sure, I had to put a protective coating on my lips so that I wouldn't become immobile as well, but anything for you! Ohohohohohoho!!  
  
"Now, to test it out, but on whom?"  
  
As if on cue, Sasuke just entered the room, forgetting to knock once again, with my delivery of roses.  
  
"Sasuke! Why is it that you always remember to knock on my brother's door, but never on mine?!"  
  
"A thousand pardons, mistress. Here are the roses you asked for."  
  
"Thank you." Then I grinned. It made him nervous, which was always funny to see. "Sasuke? I need you to help me with something."  
  
"Um, sure?"  
  
"I'm glad you see it my way." I said. Then I put on the lipstick. "This lipstick should be guaranteed to freeze Ranma darling in his tracks. I need you test it for me though. You know, just in case it might make him sick or something."  
  
Before he could respond, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Sure enough, it worked! He couldn't move a muscle. I wanted to make certain of this, so I kicked him a few times. He didn't budge. So I put the lipstick away, picked up the Christmas present I had bought for him, and left.  
  
[A little later: Nerima streets]  
  
  
  
On my way of frolicking towards the Tendo dojo, I bumped into that Chinese boy with the glasses. He was with one of those wicked girls who wanted my Ranma darling all to herself!  
  
"The nerve of you two!" I exclaimed. "Making me drop my gifts like that!"  
  
"You bumped into us!" the girl shouted.  
  
"You are so delusional." I said as I picked up my gift that was on the floor. Apparently, the boy dropped his gifts as well. Oh well. "I'd talk to you a little more, but I have matters to attend to. Bye! Ohohohoho!" Then, I ran off quickly and gracefully.  
  
  
  
[Later: Tendo dojo]  
  
  
  
I finally arrived at the Tendo dojo, home of my darling Ranma! I looked up, and saw mistletoe with an arrow. I wonder what that was doing here? I heard a faint groaning towards the dumpsters. I went over to take a look.  
  
It was Sasuke. Why he was in the garbage dumpster was another mystery, but I knew that my brother couldn't be too far around. Probably trying to date that other wicked girl, and probably that vile red headed demoness! Wasting no time, I rushed to the rooftops to perform my entrance...Oh, and I also helped Sasuke out of the dumpsters.  
  
My entrance was wonderful if I do say so myself! Nobody knew where I was coming from! I used this opportunity to sneak behind Ranma darling. My brother saw me, but didn't say a word. I gently tapped my love on the shoulder.  
  
"Ranma darling?! It's your one true love, Kodachi Kuno."  
  
The second he turned towards me, I planted a passionate kiss on his lips. I could feel him struggling, but I knew it was a jest. After a few seconds, I broke the kiss. Sure enough, it worked. I could see the anger rise on that girls face, and Ranma darling was denying it, just so he wouldn't hurt her feelings. So, I decided to twist the dagger a little further.  
  
"Oh Ranma darling, you're such a kidder." I said playfully, tightening my embrace. Then, sounding as seductively as possible, I spoke again. "Now, Ranma. Make, me, your own."  
  
I think he got the message, since his eyes seemed to widen. Then, as if to increase our splendor, Sasuke entered the scene, carrying two fishing poles with him, each with mistletoe tied to the end of them. He held one over Ranma, and the other over Akane.  
  
"Master Kuno. Mistress Kodachi." He said. "You may now honor the rules of the mistletoe."  
  
Being the lady that I am, I gently kissed him. Gently with passion, that is. I was in heaven! I finally reached first base with my Ranma darling!  
  
However, as if fate played a cruel joke on me, Ranma darling broke free of the potion, and clobbered my brother.  
  
"Don't you dare kiss Akane!" he shouted. "Whatever it was Kodachi did to me, somehow wore off when I saw that! Now, prepare to battle!"  
  
Why was Ranma darling hiding his feelings for me? He knows that we were destined to be together. Why does he hide it so? It would be much easier for the both of us.  
  
My brother battled him, much to my dismay. He lost, as usual, and ended up in that pond of theirs. I quickly ran over to my Ranma darling, and hugged him tightly.  
  
"Oh Ranma darling! I hope my brother didn't hurt you."  
  
My embrace was cut short by that wicked girl pushing me away, and punching him in the stomach.  
  
"What did you do that for?!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Because you looked like you were having a good time!" she exclaimed back.  
  
"And what would it matter to you anyways?!"  
  
"Um..uh...shut up! I don't have to listen to this!"  
  
"Nor do I have to listen to an uncute tomboy!"  
  
I chose this time to hug Ranma darling again.  
  
"I'm so glad that It's 'me' you love, and not that wicked-wicked girl!"  
  
"Hey, wait a minute! I didn't say that!"  
  
"But your eyes say you do."  
  
"Get away from him!" shouted that wicked girl.  
  
"Make me." I answered.  
  
We glared at each other for a while, exchanging harsh words to each other in the process. Our staring contest was broken by Ranma darling's words.  
  
"Can't we just talk this out? After all, it's not like I was fighting for you two anyways."  
  
Oh Ranma darling! Your feign disinterest is so adorable! I don't think that Tendo girl saw it the same way though, as she shouted at him. He said some words back, and was thrown into the same pond as my brother. I looked over, and saw that red haired demonness emerged  
  
My brother, on the other hand, couldn't be happier to see her, as he now had his arms around her. She responded to this by head butting him, and then hitting him until he was shot into the sky by one of her attacks.  
  
I looked at Sasuke, who was already out of the door, trying to catch up with my brother. I sighed, knowing that with this demoness around, I wouldn't stand a chance at a fight. At least, not without the proper cheating tools. I walked over to that panda of theirs, and took out the gift that I was going to give him.  
  
"Give this to my Ranma darling." I told him. Then he put it under the tree, and gave the thumbs up sign. Go figure. Then with much swiftness, I threw out many black roses, and was out of there in a flash.  
  
  
  
[Later: Evening]  
  
  
  
I sighed. Sighed at the fact that my Ranma darling was not yet mine. Nevertheless, I bought him a gift, so now I have an excuse to go back there tomorrow morning, and see if he got one for me. I'll win his heart eventually! I always get what I want! For I am the black rose, Mistress Kodachi Kuno! Ohohohohohoho!  
  
  
  
End of chapter 3  
  
Well, I hoped you liked this chapter. Thank you all who reviewed.^_^ It's what kept me writing! 


	4. Happosai, Akane, and Santa viewpoints

Disclaimer: Check for it in chapter 1  
  
  
  
A very merry Christmas ½  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Happosai, Akane, and Santa viewpoints]  
  
[December 24: Evening]  
  
[Happosai's viewpoint]  
  
  
  
Ah, Christmas. One of my favorite holidays. A time for cheering. A time for gifts. And most of all, a time for.....PANTY RAIDING!  
  
I remember doing this every year. Come to think of it, I do this everyday. However, this year will be different. I won't be doing "any" kind of pilfering this year.  
  
Why, you ask, would I do such a thing? You see, early December, all of the women in Nerima approached me one day, led by Cologne. I think I can explain things better with a flashback. Also, please forgive the occasional rhyming during my story. I'm very excited, and this year brings lots of cheers....see? It's starting already!  
  
[Flashback: Early December]  
  
"Happy." Cologne said to me. "This year, for the last week of December, I want you to leave all the women at peace. That means no touching, pilfering, or perversions of any kind."  
  
"Nothin' doin." I said. "I won't do such a thing!"  
  
"Oh, come on." She continued. "It'll only be a week. Besides, there's something in it for you."  
  
I raised a brow when I heard this. "Which is?"  
  
"On Christmas Eve, every individual female will leave you a gift on their doorstep. They'll be things that you'll like, so don't worry about what's inside."  
  
At this, I cheered in delight. "I" was going to get Christmas gifts that night!  
  
"You got a deal!" I exclaimed.  
  
"Good." She replied. And with that, they left.  
  
This is going to be a very merry Christmas indeed! However, a few seconds later, a realization of horror just dawned on me! No girls! No touching! No panties! No stealing! I'll just die! Oh woe is me! I wept and I wept, until something grand just hit my mind.  
  
"Ranma is half girl! I'll just sponge off of her!"  
  
Oh what jolly days! No bribes of any kind were offered by Ranma, so now I get to have my cake and eat it too! So off to the Tendo's dojo I go! Woo-hoo!  
  
[End flashback]  
  
This last week of December was really great! I splashed, glomped, and pounded Ranko more than I can count! I like to think of Ranma as Ranko whenever he's in female form. Now it is Christmas Eve. Time for me to collect my gifts.  
  
But first, I'll have a little fun. Right now, Ranma is going to come out of the bath any second now. As soon as he opens the door, I'll douse him with cold water, and you know the rest. Here he comes!  
  
So I splashed him with a bucket of cold water. He, now she, was as angry as ever.  
  
"You filthy old lech! Stop bothering me!"  
  
Of course, she would always try to attack me, but to no avail. I would just swiftly dodge, and send Ranko flying, which I just did right now. As soon as she fell, I glomped on her chest. It was so, so soft! Softer than any pillow could ever offer.  
  
She ran around and around, screaming and punching my head. But I will not let go. I like my position right where it is. She finally pried me off, and kicked me through the next room, right onto Akanes lap, who kicked me with greater force out of the window. Don't they know that hurts?! The nerve of them!  
  
Well, as long as I'm outside, I might as well go get my gifts. So I pulled out my bag, which was empty at the moment, and went hopping from doorstep to doorstep, picking up the gifts that were left out for me. Some houses left two presents, while others left four. I'm so glad that Nerima has so many beautiful women!  
  
It took half the night, but I finally picked up each and every gift in sight. I hopped back to the dojo, and ran into my room, but not before splashing Ranma with cold water, and glomping on her butt. She tried to strike me, but I was too quick. I tell you, I would've made a great Saint Nick!....well, maybe not the saint part.  
  
I locked my room and opened my presents. You wouldn't believe all the marvels I received! Many were panties and bras, all covered with the fresh female smell. Others were workout videos and pictures of women in very scantily clad undergarments, except for Nabiki's gift, which were nude pictures of Ranko. I said it before and I'll say it again. I love the Christmas season! I hope it can be like this again next year!  
  
As I was basking in the bliss of my gifts, someone knocked on the door. I opened it. Strangely, it was Ranko, with a grin on her face.  
  
"Merry Christmas, you perverted old lech." She said. "I have a present for you."  
  
I was quickly on my guard, until she did an unexpected thing. She showed off her bare chest, which made me happy at best! I quickly jumped to lunge at those melons, but was kicked in the groin, and that was all I remembered.  
  
  
  
[December 25: Morning]  
  
I woke up groggily, with a pain where you'd most expect. How dare that Ranma make a fool out of me! That's okay, although he soon won't be. All of a sudden, I heard several knocks on the front door. Strangely, nobody was answering it though. I looked out the window, and who should I see?...............No, not saint Nick, but someone much better!  
  
I saw Kuno, Kodachi, Shampoo, Ukyo, Ryoga, Mousse, and even Sasuke! They were calling out for Ranma, in both good ways and bad. I hopped to the living room, and saw that everyone hiding, pretending that they weren't there. This was my perfect opportunity for revenge! I went towards the door, and then held the hinge. Genma tried to stop me, but I kicked him in the shins, and then tossed him away. Soun saw this, and was begging for forgiveness.  
  
"Not this time!" I shouted. "Dear Ranma is getting what's coming to him!"  
  
And without a second thought, I opened the door, and jumped out of the way. Everyone stormed in, and ran up to Ranma and Akane, saying how much they love them and hate them, depending on who was talking.  
  
"Hold on you guys!" I said real loud. "Let's pound him later, but first, let's open some more presents!" They agreed to this, and all approached the tree. I figured I'll give him one final breather.  
  
Unfortunately for him, when the girls opened up their gifts, surprisingly, even to me, were lumps of coal for each of them. Well, except for Akane, who didn't open her gift yet.  
  
The girls were very angry that Ranma would give them coal. Of course I knew that it couldn't be him, but I decided to keep silent. After all, this was getting really interesting.  
  
"Ranma!" Shouted Shampoo. "You hurt Shampoo's feelings! It Amazon tradition to hurt you too!"  
  
"Count me in!" exclaimed Ukyo. "I'm surprised at you, Ranma! I thought you were better than this!"  
  
"Coal?" said Kodachi in slight disbelief. "Surely you jest. Nevertheless, you must be punished."  
  
"How dare you, Ranma!" shouted Ryoga. "What did Ukyo ever do to you?!"  
  
At this time, Akane was blushing. She apparently decided to open Ryoga's gift. It was a negligee. Strange. I never thought Ryoga had it in him. I looked at Mousse, the only one who wasn't yelling. He was grinning very evilly. Then, it hit me. "He" was the one who planned all of this! I'll have to thank him one of these days. Maybe some of Shampoo's panties will do.  
  
"But I didn't do any of this!" Ranma tried to explain. "It's the old lech! He's just mad at me!"  
  
"Why don't you take your responsibilities like a man, Ranma?" Mousse said out of the blue. "We all know that you'd lie just to save your own skin."  
  
"You have done unsuitable evil for the last time, Saotome!" Kuno exclaimed in his usual poetic tone. "Your villainy ends here! Let the punishments commence!"  
  
Now, Ranma is quite a strong fighter, but with the girls and the guys fighting him at once, he didn't stand a chance. Genma and Soun were about to intervene, but I glared at them, and they quickly sat back down, bowing their heads on the ground.  
  
"Mom!" Shouted Ranma. "I need a little help here!"  
  
"Sorry, Ranma." Nodoka answered apologetically. "You're a big boy now. I can't be fighting your battles for you anymore. That's all part of becoming a man."  
  
When the beating was over, the guys left, wishing a merry Christmas to Akane, and glaring at Ranma. The girls apologized to Ranma, saying that they shouldn't have acted so harshly, and other stuff that I don't care to remember. The only guy that was still around was Mousse, who was just standing there quietly, not saying a word.  
  
They all backed away from him, while he got up slowly. Fortunately for him, the beatings were light. Kodachi was first to give Ranma her gift. He opened it, and inside was....a necklace?! Both Ranma "and" Kodachi were somewhat confused.  
  
"What happened to the gift that I got you?" she asked out loud. "I don't remember even seeing this."  
  
Ranma just shrugged. I looked over at Mousse, who now had a very worried expression on his face. I looked back at Ukyo, who was now giving her gift to Ranma. He opened it, and it was....a tracking device?! What's going on here?! Fortunately for Ukyo, Ryoga ran in.  
  
"Ukyo!" he shouted. "Wait! I forgot to give you this!" He handed her a gift.  
  
"Thanks, sugar." She said as she opened it.  
  
It was a silver bracelet. It had such a wonderful sparkle to it. How could Ryoga ever get something like that? I looked over at Mousse, who was now grinning again. Well, that answers my question. Ryoga was now opening a gift that Ukyo had just handed to him. I guess she forgot to give it to him or something.  
  
When he opened it, a strange powdery substance shot out from the box. What the heck?! What kind of gift is that?! I looked back at Mousse, who had look of worry in his face. Whatever he had planned must've just backfired. I also looked at Shampoo, whose expression was of pure horror. Whatever was going on sure was something big.  
  
Ryoga was wiping the smoke from his eyes. Ukyo was trying help him, but she accidentally inhaled some of the fumes, and was coughing. When the smoke was gone, Ryoga and Ukyo looked directly at each other. They stayed that way for the longest time. Then, all of a sudden, they broke into a passionate kiss!  
  
I looked back at Shampoo and Mousse, who were muttering intangible words to themselves. Mousse pulled a gift out of his sleeve, opened it, and had a look of horror! I wish I knew what was going on! He sighed, closed the box, and handed it to Shampoo. She accepted the gift, and opened it. Her eyes lit up with delight. She pulled out the gift for all to see.  
  
"Look what Mousse got for Shampoo!" she said excitedly as she was holding up a jeweled bracelet. "Thank you Mousse!" She then hugged him, which made Mousse put a stupid smile on his face. "Now Shampoo have to get Mousse gift." Then she turned back to Ranma. "Here present for Airen."  
  
She gave him the gift, and Ranma opened it. As soon as he opened the box, two darts shot out of it, and struck Ranma. Within seconds, he fell asleep.  
  
"So 'that's' what happened to my gift!" exclaimed Kodachi. "But how did that happen?" She thought for a minute, and then responded. "Oh yeah! It must've got switched with Mousse and Ukyo's gifts when they bumped into me!" Then she picked up Ranma. "Well, it's to my bedroom for us."  
  
However, before she could take another step, Akane clocked her in the head with a mallet. I would've glomped on her then and there, but I still have until New Years before I can do my normal perverted hobbies again! Sometimes life can so unfair! But still, I had a wonderful time.  
  
  
  
[Akane's viewpoint: December 24: Evening]  
  
  
  
That jerk! That dummy! Why can't he keep his comments to himself?! I know I'm a bad cook, but he doesn't have to say it so rudely! Not only that, but he had to get intimate with Kodachi! I was so angry at him, that this time; I looked the other way when Happosai was tormenting him all day today. I still would've done nothing, except for the fact that he fell on my lap while I was waiting for my new batch of cookies to finish. I kicked the old pervert out of window, and then stormed off into the kitchen.  
  
A few moments later, they were finally finished! I'll show Ranma that I can cook! This time, I followed everything by the book! Only.....I think I put too much of everything. I took out the cookies, and strangely, they had an unusual shape to them. Instead of looking like chocolate chip cookies, they kind of looked like oatmeal cookies with brown spots on them. But that's okay. I'm sure they'll still taste good.  
  
After they cooled, I brought them over to Ranma, who just changed back into a guy again.  
  
"Try some, Ranma." I said to him. He picked up a cookie, smelled it, and responded.  
  
"Well, I hope they taste better than they look." He said.  
  
This made me angry! I resisted the urge to punch his lights out, and let him finish tasting it. However, he wasn't swallowing the bite he took.  
  
"Yes, what do think?" I asked. He didn't respond, but continued to chew. I grew impatient. "You know, you never take this long to swallow other peoples cooking!"  
  
"I would if I could." He answered. "But these things are as hard as rocks. I'm surprised that I was able to take a bite. As far as the taste goes, I've tasted better cardboard."  
  
What?! Cardboard?! How can he be such a jerk?! Without wasting another second, I took the tray away from him, and smacked him in the face with it! "Fine! If that's how you feel about them, you don't have to eat them!" I quickly stormed off into the kitchen.  
  
"Akane, wait!" I heard him. "I didn't mean to say that! It just sorta slipped out! Akane! Come back here!"  
  
[Later in the evening]  
  
I spent the rest of the evening trying to perfect my cookies. I must admit, I was getting better at it. Dad and Mr. Saotome were nice enough to try my cooking, unlike that jerk of a fiancée of mine! After my fifth attempt, both dad and Mr. Saotome disappeared. I asked Mrs. Saotome where they were, and she told me they were in the bathroom. I wonder why?  
  
I shrugged it off as I prepared my sixth attempt. While I was waiting, I heard Happosai come home from his gift collecting. He teased Ranma for a while, and then went into his room. It was then that Ranma, in female form, stormed into the kitchen.  
  
"That perverted old lech!" he shouted. "I'll get him for this!" Then he smelled my cooking. "What's that smell? It smells too good to be your cooking. Is mom baking cookies?"  
  
Can't he give me a little credit?! I tied to kick him, but he dodged. The minute he turned his back, I threw a cup at his head. It hit him, but he didn't fall down. Instead, he turned around, and grinned evilly.  
  
"Thanks, Akane." He said. "That bump on the head gave me just what I need to get even with that old lech."  
  
"Ranma." I said. "I don't think that's a good idea. He's in a good mood right now, and ruining that could be disastrous."  
  
"I don't care!" he said angrily. "That old lech deserves to have his day ruined! Wish me luck, Akane, cause' here I go!"  
  
And with that, he ran upstairs. Within moments, he came back upstairs with a look of triumph in his face.  
  
"So what did you do?" I asked.  
  
"Kicked him in the groin hard enough to knock him out cold."  
  
My eyes widened. "Ranma. He's going to be very angry when he wakes up."  
  
"Yeah, so what? He couldn't possibly do anything to me that he hasn't done already."  
  
I just sighed as he left the room. Nodoka and I just shook our heads.  
  
After some time passed, which was very late at night, the cookies were finished. When they cooled, I tried one. They were pretty good. Ranma should love these now! So I put them in the refrigerator, put a sign that said "property of Akane Tendo", closed the door, and went to bed. The reason for the sign was to keep Mr. Saotome from eating them in the middle of the night.  
  
[December 25: Morning]  
  
I woke up a little late this morning. I heard a pounding on the door. I went downstairs, and saw that the rest of the family was hiding in various parts of the living room, and Happosai was opening the door. It was then that a group of everyone we knew entered. Ranma walked next to me, and I looked around as everyone was crowding us, giving various praises and insults to us.  
  
"So the old lech couldn't do anything to you." I said To Ranma with narrow eyes. "Weren't those your words?"  
  
"Aw, shut up, Akane." He said.  
  
Strange enough, Happosai called everyone to open presents that I don't even remember putting up. Unfortunately for him, when the girls opened up their gifts, surprisingly, even to me, were lumps of coal for each of them. Well, except for me. I decided to wait until everyone was gone before I opened my gift. That way, if he "did" give me a lump of coal, I could beat him with it! The comments given to Ranma by everyone were quite rude, but I couldn't shake off the thought that it couldn't have been him who done this.  
  
"Ranma!" Shouted Shampoo. "You hurt Shampoo's feelings! It Amazon tradition to hurt you too!"  
  
"Count me in!" exclaimed Ukyo. "I'm surprised at you, Ranma! I thought you were better than this!"  
  
"Coal?" said Kodachi in slight disbelief. "Surely you jest. Nevertheless, you must be punished."  
  
"How dare you, Ranma!" shouted Ryoga. "What did Ukyo ever do to you?!"  
  
Oh! That reminds me! I should open Ryoga's gift right now, while he's still here. I opened it, and blushed deeply. A negligee? Why would Ryoga give me this? Maybe he didn't know any better. He wouldn't do something like this on purpose, not like Ranma! Of course, the comments were still flowing.  
  
"But I didn't do any of this!" Ranma tried to explain. "It's the old lech! He's just mad at me!"  
  
"Why don't you take your responsibilities like a man, Ranma?" Mousse said out of the blue. "We all know that you'd lie just to save your own skin."  
  
"You have done unsuitable evil for the last time, Saotome!" Kuno exclaimed in his usual poetic tone. "Your villainy ends here! Let the punishments commence!"  
  
This wouldn't end well for Ranma. Dad and Mr. Saotome tried to intervene, but one glare from Happosai quickly made them go away. What wimps!  
  
"Mom!" Shouted Ranma. "I need a little help here!"  
  
"Sorry, Ranma." Nodoka answered apologetically. "You're a big boy now. I can't be fighting your battles for you anymore. That's all part of becoming a man."  
  
I felt a little sorry for Ranma. I would've helped him, but I wasn't sure if he really did this or not. Besides, it's not like Happosai would let me help, especially after Ranma made him really angry.  
  
When the beating was over, the guys left, and only the girls remained, much to my disappointment. They said they were sorry and stuff, but I won't go into detail, as it is making me sick just thinking about it! The gifts that they gave Ranma were very strange. Why would Kodachi give Ranma a necklace? Isn't that a feminine thing? And why did Ukyo give Ranma a tracking device?  
  
What was even stranger was the gift that Ryoga, after running back, gave Ukyo. That bracelet was very pretty! The event in that cave must've really brought them closer together. But Ukyo's gift was really strange. Why was there a powdery substance in there? Well, whatever it was, both Shampoo and Mousse had horrified looks on their faces.  
  
All of a sudden, after a long silence, Ukyo and Ryoga both kissed each other passionately. Whatever that smoky stuff was, it must've brought out their inner feelings for each other, or something like that.  
  
Anyways, Mousses gift to Shampoo was a jeweled bracelet, which made Shampoo very happy. Way to go, Mousse! You've just brought yourself closer to her heart! After she was done showing it off, she gave Ranma a gift. This was the strangest of them all. Two darts shot out of the box, and knocked Ranma out! After a few seconds, Kodachi cleared up the mix up, and tried to take Ranma to her home. As if I was going to let "that" happen. Before she could take another step, I took my mallet, and knocked her out.  
  
Eventually, everyone left, including Kodachi, who was being carried away by Sasuke, who came back to find his mistress. Ryoga and Ukyo left, holding hands. Shampoo left in utter disappointment, while Mousse comforted her. As for Ranma, I'll just let him sleep for a while.  
  
[Later]  
  
When Ranma finally woke up, I told him everything that went on. Happosai did the same, although it was with laughter, and then he quickly went back into his room to play with his "gifts." I led Ranma to the kitchen, and brought out the cookies.  
  
"Remember those cookies that you said smelled nice?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah, what of them?"  
  
"Well, I cooked them myself. Here, try one." Then I added; "or you'll get another serious beating!"  
  
Ranma sighed. He took a bite of one, and then swallowed it. He took another one, and did the same.  
  
"Hey! These actually taste pretty good." He said. "I'm not feeling sick or anything!"  
  
I was so glad to hear those words! I hugged him tightly, which made him jump slightly, but he didn't protest it. Then I pulled out a gift for him. It wasn't much, but I hope he'll like it. He opened it, and took it out. It was a handmade sweater. I cut my fingers many times to make it.  
  
"Um, nice sweater." Said Ranma as he examined the design. "The picture of the dinosaur looks nice too."  
  
"It's a dolphin!" I said irritably. I stopped myself from saying anything else. "Sorry. I'm not really good at designing. Do you like it?"  
  
"Yeah, it's wearable at least."  
  
Wearable?! What's that supposed to mean?! I tried my best to calm down. Like with the scarf I made for him at that party, it's just his way of paying a compliment. I decided to open my gift. When I did, I was so surprised at what it was. A diamond necklace?! It's so beautiful!  
  
"Thank you Ranma!" I exclaimed as I hugged him. I looked up at his eyes. They looked somewhat confused, but he looked up at the sky, smiled, and looked back at me.  
  
"You're welcome." He said.  
  
We would've probably stayed like this for a long time, had we not seen everyone watching us. We quickly let go.  
  
"Please, don't stop on our account." Said Nabiki. "Continue."  
  
Feeling angry and embarrassed, I rushed in my room. I could hear Ranma running away from his father and mother, who were teasing him about it. Well, one thing's for sure, this will definitely be a Christmas to remember.  
  
  
  
[Santa's viewpoint]  
  
  
  
[Authors note: I decided to give him a viewpoint so I could give an epilogue for the other characters, since he would know what was going on more than they would. Just letting you know that.]  
  
Well, hello everyone. I bet you're all wondering what happened to everyone on the morning of December 26. Well, here's a brief epilogue, told by yours truly, Saint Nick.  
  
Ranma went back to his normal way of life. You know, fighting with Akane (although less now), fighting his rivals, getting away from his other fiancées, and training. For having to suffer so much, I gave him a fitness set, so he can always have something to train with.  
  
For Akane, whose life also went back to normal, I gave her an easy recipes cookbook.  
  
As for Kodachi, Kuno, Shampoo, Cologne, Nabiki, Genma, and Soun, I gave them each a large lump of coal, much larger than the one Mousse gave to the girls.  
  
As for Mousse, I gave him a pair of glasses that'll make even "him" see well. But, that's only because of the good thing he accidentally did. I still gave him a lump of coal as well.  
  
As for Ukyo, I gave her a universal cookbook, so she can learn to cook something "other" than Okonomiyaki.  
  
As for Ryoga, I gave him a waterproof, electronic compass, so that he can find his way around the world a bit easier.  
  
As for Kasumi, who wasn't even mentioned in this story, I gave her jewelry and other trinkets. She had to be, to say the least, the kindest hearted person in Nerima. A bit oblivious at times, but good nonetheless.  
  
Finally, as for Happosai, he was probably the "worst" person in Nerima who was on my naughty list. For him, not only did I give him coal, but I also sprayed a magical aphrodisiac on him that will only attract obese and unattractive women to him. It'll last for several days before finally wearing off.  
  
Well, I've had fun making deliveries while I was here. Now, it's time to head back to the North Pole, and take it easy until the next Christmas season. Until then, have a very merry Christmas....and a half! Hohohoho!! Sorry about that. I couldn't resist the pun.  
  
  
  
THE END  
  
  
  
Well, I hoped you enjoyed this. Send feedback to rubynall@hotmail.com  
  
Have a Very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! ^_^  
  
~Ryu 


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